hopeless

theres SOOOOOOOO much, but i cant jumble it all down here.
i actually dont know what to do any more. im usually not someon who would give up on something i like. but i think it is time for me to just retreat back into my shell with a white flag.
i dont even know where to start..hmmm i know sometimes i need to patient and not be so sensitive, but i have been push to limits. or maybe i am just overthinking everything? blehhh!
i talked to my oppa about it and its great to have someone b there for you when your having a bad time.

i thnk i have gone to the point where i cant cry about it any more. its still cooped up inside of me, but i no longer have the energy to vent, to cry, to release it out. all i can do is pray about it and keep a smile on. i know its fake, but how can i go around frowning at everything. hmm on the bright side, i went to tennis club today. it was really fun. i love being around people who also loves it. it reminds me of my team back in those years. sigh good ol' times!!! i wish i can seriously rewind time. i want to relive moments, i want to redo mistakes, and i want to appreciate what i had. everything is all gone now, and all i can do is think back and tell myself how stupid i am. annyong!!